In my dealings with hundreds of clients, I can testify that even though the circumstances of our lives may be different, the problems we face are actually quite similar and can be resolved using a few simple tools. I’ve spent most of my adulthood searching for tools to resolve my own, and my clients’ problems.
I have noticed that no matter what problem my clients seek help with, there is invariably some past upset(s) they carry with them that needs to be released in order for current problems to be dissolved. This releasing process is often called forgiveness.
Forgiveness can have a negative connotation for some people, implying that they must shrug off past hurts as no big deal, or let someone off the hook for painful experiences. Therefore, most people can have a very difficult time with forgiveness.
If I told you that forgiveness is the solution to current problems, however, you might take another look at this misunderstood tool.
Unity minister Catherine Ponder wrote in one of her books, “If you have a problem, there is something to forgive” and I have found the truth in her words in my own life, and in the lives of my clients.
Invariably, when I work with people in healing their own lives, I assign them forgiveness homework. There is almost always resistance, but if a person is truly sick and tired of their problems, they are usually willing to give it a go.
For a period of 30 days, I ask my clients to repeat some forgiveness statement for about 5 minutes per day. I tell them that even if they don’t mean it in the beginning, just the willingness to do so will create new results.
For example, a young man I was coaching did the exercise, even though he was adamant there was nothing in his life to forgive and doubted it would work.
Each day he would check in with me and complain about the exercise I had given him, telling me how stupid it was and that it would never work. I reassured him that because he had problems in his life, there must be something to forgive, even if he couldn’t remember.
By about the third week, this young man reported to me that something strange had happened. An estranged relative, who had caused great distress to my client’s family, appeared at the family home after many years to make amends. The family received him openly and past hurts were finally released and healed.
My client was astonished at the turn of events. He had forgotten the ill-feeling he held towards his relative, and even though he had not been aware of it, his words of forgiveness had passed through the ethers and healed his whole family.
Soon after, my client reported that the emotional problems he had come seeking help with were gone and he was happier than he had been in a long time.
Such a simple tool can have such unexpected and far-reaching results, extending even beyond the one who is willing to give it a try.
And so I pass this tool on to you. If you have a problem then there is something to forgive, even if you are not aware of what that is right now.
How to use The Forgiveness Formula in your own life:
- For the next 30 days, spend at least 5 minutes speaking words of forgiveness. They do not have to be directed at anyone in particular to create happy results. Here are some suggestions for your use:
- I fully and freely forgive. I loose and let go all ill feeling.
- All that has offended me I forgive. I forgive everything and everybody who can possibly need forgiveness in my past or present. I forgive everyone. I am free and they are free too. All things are cleared up now and forever.
- All is forgiven.
